I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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