So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
