I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
