can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
