I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
