Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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