I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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