Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
