It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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