ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
she smelled like a LAN party
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
