everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
