More tranny stories later!
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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