it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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