I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
