Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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