how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
do nipples grow back?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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