So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
