Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
