I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
