Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
