What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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