Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
