I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I enjoy the company of your penis
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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