They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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