if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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