Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
i am craving dick and cupcakes
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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