i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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