For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
