How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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