More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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