i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
