dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize