you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
