So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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