i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
