if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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