I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
