haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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