the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Who died my cat blue again?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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