You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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