Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
