My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just want nice things and good sex
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
