My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
