Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
