Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
