Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize