How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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