addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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