from now on my penis is your penis
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
