? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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