shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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