i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
