ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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