Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
jump out the window naked night went bad
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
