i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
