Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
