I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Can I color on your dick again?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize