I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
