All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
