Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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