You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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