And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
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